How to Talk to Players When Something Is Not Working

Every Dungeons and Dragons group eventually hits friction. A player seems disengaged. Sessions feel slow. One person dominates conversations. Another barely speaks. Most campaigns struggle not because of the problem itself, but because no one knows how to talk about it.

Addressing issues early and clearly is one of the most important skills a Dungeon Master can develop.

Recognize That Problems Are Normal

When something feels off, many DMs assume they are failing.

They are not.

D&D is a social activity. Anytime people collaborate regularly, misalignment happens. Treating issues as part of the process makes them easier to solve.

Talk Outside the Game

Do not address problems in the middle of a session unless absolutely necessary.

Choose:

• A private conversation

• A calm moment between sessions

• A neutral tone focused on improvement

Separating the discussion from play keeps defensiveness low.

Focus on the Experience, Not the Person

How you frame the conversation matters.

Instead of focusing on what someone is doing wrong, focus on how the game feels.

Examples:

• The pacing feels slower than it used to

• Some players seem quieter lately

• Combat is taking longer than expected

This keeps the conversation collaborative rather than confrontational.

Ask Questions Before Offering Solutions

Do not assume you know the cause.

Ask open questions such as:

• How are you feeling about the game lately?

• Is there anything you wish we did more or less of?

• Does anything feel frustrating or unclear?

Listening first builds trust and often reveals simple fixes.

Be Clear and Honest

Avoid vague hints.

If something specific is not working, state it respectfully and clearly. Ambiguity creates confusion. Clarity creates progress.

Honesty does not require harshness. It requires precision.

Reinforce Shared Goals

Most players want the game to succeed.

Remind them that:

• The goal is shared enjoyment

• Adjustments help everyone

• Feedback goes both ways

Framing the conversation around collective improvement keeps it constructive.

Address Online-Specific Challenges

Online games introduce unique friction. Turn-taking feels awkward. Energy drops faster. Players disengage silently.

In these cases, connection matters as much as communication.

Visual presence can help players feel more invested and less distant.

Faes AR supports online groups by allowing players to visually embody their characters in real time using fantasy masks and character elements. This can reduce detachment and make players feel more connected to the table, which often resolves issues before they escalate.

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Accept That Not Every Issue Has a Perfect Fix

Some problems resolve with small adjustments. Others reveal deeper misalignment.

If expectations differ fundamentally, it may be healthier to:

• Change the direction of the game

• End the campaign cleanly

• Start something new with clearer alignment

This is not failure. It is respect for everyone’s time and enjoyment.

Why These Conversations Matter

Unspoken frustration is the fastest way to lose a group.

When you talk openly, listen carefully, and act intentionally, most problems become manageable. Players feel heard. Trust increases. The game improves.

Strong campaigns are not built on avoiding problems. They are built on addressing them well.